GRIEF
2020 was a year of deep, profound grief.
341,000 dead in the United States of COVID. NYC becomes a ghost town. Hospitals overwhelmed and overrun. Government incompetence and misinformation exacerbate the spread.
A black man is murdered by police in broad daylight on video. A black woman is shot and killed by police while asleep in her own home. A black man out for a jog is instead chased down and killed by vigilantes. All of it shining a spotlight on racially based trauma that forms the tainted foundation of this country.
Unemployment soars. Domestic violence rises. Birdwatching becomes endangered. “Karens” become common.
Parents become teachers while also working from home. Kids go to school and risk infection or stay home and risk depression. Teachers do even more for the same inadequate pay. Putting their lives on the line.
Grandparents can’t see their grandchildren. College kids are shipped home from school. The elderly are sequestered in nursing homes under strict lockdown. Families can’t gather to grieve their lost loved ones.
Cardi B calls attention to WAP. Jeffrey Toobin calls attention to himself.
Hugs are off limits. Smiles are hidden.
A narcissist holds court in the White House.
GRATITUDE
2020 was a year of deep, profound gratitude.
We learn to protect ourselves and others by wearing masks, washing hands, and staying home.
Doctors and teachers and parents and nurses work double and triple time. Saving lives. Educating the next generation. Giving back instead of giving up.
Zoom keeps us connected.
Mass protest in Minneapolis spreads across the country. Citizens unite to call for desperately needed police reform.
New friendships are forged.
We all are introduced to the value of the pause.
Some of us find more time to read.
Netflix and Amazon Prime and Hulu and HBO ensure that no one dies of boredom.
Restaurants are shuttered but Instacart explodes. Some of us cook more at home. Baking bread becomes a thing.
Many of us begin to value toilet paper more.
Scientists work around the clock around the world to develop a vaccine.
We all long to travel, see friends and family, celebrate together.
Which will make those things even sweeter when we can.
A narcissist is voted out of the Oval Office.
My 2020 in Review: A Year of Grief and Gratitude
A year unlike any other. At least for me.
Solo meals out. Philly. January 2020 Philly to start the year. January 2020 Homemade pasta by L. January 2020 Homemade bolognese. January 2020 First piano recital. Nailed it. January 2020 L Writing retreat. Barn. Chester County, PA. January 2020 The girls! Seneca Lake, NY. February 2020 Jamaica Plain, MA. Fifth anniversary of my dad’s death. February 2020 En route to Cali. February 2020 Joshua Tree. Valentine’s Day, 2020 Sunset over the Pacific. Love you Mama Melinda. February 2020 Cali sunshine. February 2020 Amazing meals, Cali, February 2020 Visit with maternal line genealogist Nancy Dorfman, February 2020 Vetri after meeting John Sayles. Philly. February 2020 First time COVID grocery shopping, April 2020 My extravagant birthday breakfast table, April 2020 My girls. Paoli, PA. June 2020 Slip and slide inside! Paoli, PA. June 2020 LOTS of driving. All year long. Keepsakes and lost loves. My office. June – August 2020 Zoe joining me in my office. Paoli, PA. August 2020 Scratches and scrapes, stings and swelling. Good times. Bethany Beach, DE. July 2020 Bethany Beach, DE. July 2020. Archives safely transported and stored. Gratitude to Maggy and Skyler. Paoli, PA. July 2020 The archives go up and down, hurray, hurray. Paoli, PA. August 2020. Zoe Olive and E, Seneca Lake. August 2020 View from the hammock. Home I am leaving. Paoli, PA. August 2020 My trusty canine companion. Paoli, PA. August 2020 Watching for foxes. Paoli, PA. August 2020 Alpaca kisses. Seneca Lake, NY. August 2020 Happy on the farm. Seneca Lake, NY. August 2020 Campfires and s’mores. Seneca Lake, NY. August 2020 Caspie the barn cat. Seneca Lake, NY. August 2020 Downward dog. Paoli, PA. September 2020 Virtual school! Wayne, PA. September 2020 Kayley reunion! Wayne, PA. September 2020 Rainbows in Wayne, PA. October 2020 Swinging. Sibling love. Wayne, PA. October 2020 Still finding ways to smile. Wayne, PA. October 2020 Birthday boy! Wayne, PA. September 2020 Birthday cake. Wayne, PA. 2020 All alone. Wayne, PA. October 2020 Cooking for kids when they aren’t with me. Wayne, PA. October 2020 Cookie making. October 2020 Skateboarding. Wayne, PA. October 2020 Fox and the Hound screening. Wayne, PA. October 2020 Mask couture. Wayne, PA. October 2020 Culinary therapy. Gratitude. Wayne, PA. October 2020 Jackie Harper visit! Paoli, PA. October 2020 Still finding ways to smile. Election approach. November 2020 Airbnb home gym. Rochester, NY. November 2020 Airbnb library. Rochester, NY. November 2020 Forest across the street. Rochester, NY. October2020 Grim Reaper. Seneca Lake, NY. Halloween. Scarecrow. Seneca Lake, NY. Halloween Believing in all things magical. Seneca Lake, NY. October 2020 Lots ‘o cookie baking. All year long. Election wisdom. Wallingford, PA. November 2020 Stuffies waiting in line to vote. Paoli, PA. November 2020 Voted. Chester Springs, PA. November 2020 Dog meets ocean. Stone Harbor, NJ. November 2020 Stone Harbor, NJ. November 2020 Stone Harbor, NJ. November 2020 Happy mom and kiddos. Stone Harbor, NJ. November 2020 My heart. My home. Washington, DC. November 2020 Washington, DC. November 2020 DC streets. November 2020 Washington, DC. November 2020. Sanity-preserving trampoline. Paoli, PA. December 2020. Airbnb/art museum. Chester Springs, PA. December 2020 Amelia Earhart’s cousin’s horse farm. Chester Springs, PA. December 2020 Birthday girl. Paoli, PA. December 2020 Grinch birthday party. Paoli, PA. December 2020 Sanity-preserving pooch. All year long. Beautiful PA. December 2020. Peaceful Nook. Gap, PA. December 2020. Snow and dancing. Gap, PA. December 2020 Parked outside. Gap, PA. December 2020 Packing. Paoli, PA. December 2020. Trusty sidekick headed to Bark U. December 2020 Set up for Santa and his reindeer. Poconos, PA. December 2020 Celebrating xmas in the Poconos. Gratitude to James for my painting. December 2020 Merry and happy from our family to yours. Cresco, PA. December 2020 Puppy therapy. Paoli, PA. December 2020 Cream tea comfort. Paoli, PA. December 2020 Bridal suite. Hope, NJ. December, 2020 Grief ritual. Hope, NJ. December 2020 Grief. Paoli, PA. December 2020. Nature. All year long. Gratitude. Gratitude. Gratitude.
I’ve relocated 25 times as part of hopscotching my way through the minefield of divorce.
Explored a big swath of Pennsylvania.
Also North Carolina, New Jersey, New York, Delaware.
(Virginia, too. Though just passing through.)
I spent two delicious weeks in the nation’s capital, where my soul feels rooted.
Pre-pandemic, I squeezed in trips to Boston and SoCal, too.
The first, to mark the fifth anniversary of my father’s death.
The second, to help my best friend begin the process of extricating herself from her marriage.
Always good to have friends along on hard journeys.
I’ve stayed on an alpaca farm on Seneca Lake. In the Poconos. Along the Atlantic. Across the street from a forest in Rochester. In Montreat, a tiny mountain retreat town near Asheville, NC.
I’ve stayed in a friend’s basement in-law suite in Wallingford, PA. Another friend’s huge house in Wayne, PA. A friend’s ocean view condo in Bethany, DE.
In several Airbnbs with amazing libraries. A couple without heat.
In a grist mill that provided flour to Washington’s troops.
On Amelia Earhart’s cousin’s horse farm.
A few Hampton Inns. A few places I’ve forgotten.
It’s been quite a journey. I’m still not done.
Once I land somewhere to stay, I’ll need to sit still and reassemble the shattered remains of my heart.
Dream a whole new dream for what the future holds.
But don’t you worry. I’ve got ideas.
So.
Many.
Ideas.
I need to be doing more to care for our planet. So I’m attempting to let go of paper correspondence. The card that prompted you to visit this page is among the last year-end cards I plan to send.
(I love cards. And wrapping, too! But not the waste. So this year I used tea towels!)
To keep up with me in my constant moves and find out where I settle, please share your email address below.
When you do, I’ll share the personal note I would otherwise have written on your card.
Everyone reading this now has helped me in invaluable ways this past year.
Couldn’t come close to capturing all the generosity that has flowed my way.
It brings me to tears.
It reminds me there is good in this world.
So much good.
So profoundly grateful.
Happy 2021!
xo, Jeanette
